January 2010 February 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 2010 Year in Review

January 2010 Alien (DVD) The first time I saw this movie, I confess I didn't get a lot out of it. But I've come to appreciate it a lot more when rewatching it and especially after having seen Aliens. It's a finely-crafted horror movie, gritty, dark, and even depressing sometimes, and I think what makes it work is how realistic it feels. Machinations of the future in which space travel is possible are often heavier on fantasy than sci-fi, but this movie finds the right balance, not least of which is courtesy of the down-to-earth bluecollar characters, and the claustrophobic, moody atmosphere. The alien itself (with its beautifully grotesque H.R. Giger design) is an incredibly unique movie monster and in this film it feels more like a real animal that's just doing its thing to survive (which makes it scarier in my opinion), than in some of the later films where it's just a typical B-movie killing machine. Rating: 4.5/5 Alien 3 (DVD) I watched the special edition because I remembered it being slightly better than the theatrical release, but if that's true, then the theatrical release must have been really bad. Aside from the obvious, often-cited problems (the setup making no sense at all), the movie is slow and boring and there is very little characterization. The beginning spends much time layering on symbolism so thick that it doesn't really work. Dr. Clemens, Dillon, and Superintendent Andrews are the only prisoners given any personality, and Clemens is killed off too early, and Andrews is annoying. When annoying people or people that you don't even know die, it can almost become comical. For instance, when Andrews is carted off by the alien just as he finishes his speech and so happens to step underneath an air vent. C'mon, even when Burke got it in Aliens, you didn't want to laugh. The weirdest thing of all is that it's obvious the whole point of this movie was to have an alien that runs like a dog, really swiftly and fast, and yet it's painfully obvious they didn't have the special effects technology to make it convincingly happen. Rating: 2/5 Aliens (DVD) By now, I have probably seen this movie more times than any other movie. If you saw any of the other Alien movies and didn't like them, I still demand that you see Aliens. It's the best of the bunch. Great characters, great story, great special effects (thank goodness this movie was made before CGI), lots of action, Sigourney Weaver is fantastic, and the Alien Queen is simply the most badass movie monster in existence. The battle against her at the end is a pure classic. I slightly prefer the theatrical release to the special edition, but both are extremely good. Like its predecessor, Alien, it deals with its subject matter in a frighteningly realistic fashion. It's easy to see why this movie influenced so many video games. It's a thrill ride from start to finish, with an ending so perfect that I wish the Aliens series could have just ended right here. Rating: 5/5 Charlie Wilson's War (DVD) This is a pretty decent movie, but I have one gripe with it: If you go into it not really knowing or understanding why Russia invaded Afghanistan, it kind of makes it look like the Russians are just trying to kill everyone there for no real reason. Nowhere is it mentioned that they were siding with a particular political party there. Aside from that, I thought the movie was informative, had some great moments, and until I saw it, I never would have thought I'd find a scene of helicopters being shot down by anti-air missiles uplifting. Rating: 3/5 Dark City (DVD) The moral of this movie is that if you're hiveminded, you can't be human. As a longtime denizen of the internet, that's a sentiment I can appreciate. This moral is told through a tale that seems frighteningly similar to Urusei Yatsura 2: Beautiful Dreamer (see below), right down to both having a city that no one can escape from, a crazy guy in a dirty apartment saying he can't remember back past a certain point no matter how hard he tries, a scene where a car stops and people get out to remark that there should be a bridge here, and (most importantly) a scene where the camera pans away from the city so you can see it detached and floating in space. One major difference in Dark City from UY2 is that when that "city in space" scene occurs in UY2, there's still quite a bit of mystery left, whereas in Dark City, the mystery is over... and then it becomes a Dragon Ball Z fight. (I'm not kidding.) It's a good movie, but not one of my top favorites. Rating: 3/5 Garfield & Friends, Volume 4 (DVD) When I was a kid, I stopped watching this show after several seasons, and I don't exactly remember why. I don't know if the show got worse or if I just outgrew it, but this set, which contains parts of Seasons 5 and 6, indicates several possible reasons why. Almost all of the US Acres/Orson's Farm segments involve either Orson reading a book and having his imagination turn into reality, or some villain character stealing crops or chickens. Then you get the occasional episode that combines both. The Garfield segments are more tolerable, but are sometimes dull and seem to be repeating the same jokes they used in earlier seasons. Many of these episodes were completely new to me (I'd seen "Truckin' Odie" and the singing ants episode before, but that was about it), and yet I was still familiar with a lot of the jokes and conventions. It does have its bright spots. The "sending Nermal to Abu Dhabi" thing was old, and yet they still managed to make a pretty good set up to a punchline involving Garfield getting sent there instead. The "Snow Wade" episode was pretty funny, too, and I wondered how it was even possible they got the kissing scene past the censors. But there weren't enough moments like those and I started feeling bored with it by the end (that is, until that Garfield rap video that ended Season 5 totally creeped me out...) Rating: 2.5/5 Lemmings & Oh No! More Lemmings (PS1) Lemmings is a "puzzle" game in the true sense of the word - you actually have to solve situations to escort a bunch of bumbling critters across a dangerous trap-filled landscape to an exit door. This Playstation disc contains two fantastic games in one, with over 200 levels to complete. Great music, too. See the full review here. Rating: 4/5 Saturday Night Live: The Best of Christopher Walken (DVD) The thing about this "best of" collection is that it's extremely hit or miss. The funny sketches are really, really funny, but the unfunny ones are almost incomprehensible. The best sketches are the cowbell sketch, the two Continental sketches (and a third one in the extras that shows how one is made), and the Trivial Psychic (which is my all-time favorite Christopher Walken SNL sketch). But the ones that aren't funny tend to be real stinkers, like that one where Cheri Oteri is acting like a white trash woman on a porch, that bizarre centaur sketch, and those god-awful sketches where Will Ferrell and Rachel Dratch are "Lov-ahs", which I greatly despise. The good sketches are good enough to almost give this a recommendation, but if you do rent or buy it, you'd probably be better off skipping the ones that are bad. Rating: 2.5/5 Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope (DVD) The original space opera saga that started it all, A New Hope is still my favorite in the series because I feel it works the best as a stand-alone story. There's also nothing quite like the simple farmboy-to-hero storyline and the incredible Death Star battle in the end. I watched the Special Edition version (though I've seen the original many times), and the only problems I have with it are that dumbass Jabba scene and Greedo shooting first. If not for those issues, I'd really have no preference for which version to watch. The Special Edition is prettier, but I like the grittiness of the original, too. Other than that, what can I say that hasn't already been said? Rating: 5/5 Urusei Yatsura 2: Beautiful Dreamer (DVD) This is still one of my favorite animated movies of all time. The characters are great, the artwork is good, the story is absorbing, and the humor is well-played. (Mendou reminds me so much of my own RAU Gallery character Chance Tomasaro, it's kind of scary.) The only problem is that I think the movie works best the first time you see it when it's all new to you. It appears the studio didn't have a very large animation budget, so there are a lot of scenes where nothing is moving, or there's only minimal movement. The film uses this to some effect to heighten the mystery (long camera pans across still settings as characters talk about what's going on), but when you know what the secret is, the lack of animation will be more obvious to you. I should also mention that I've never watched the version with the original Japanese voice actors, only the English dub, but unlike many anime fans, I think the English dub for this movie is just fine. "Tanks don't go bathing, you idiot!" still cracks me up every time I hear it. Rating: 4/5 BACK TO THE REVIEW INDEX

February 2010 Alien Resurrection (DVD) I don't hate this movie as much as many Alien fans do (I still contend that Alien 3 is the worst of the non-AVP movies), but it needed a serious rewrite for some scenes that are far too over-the-top and cartoony (like Purvis's death scene and that ricocheting bullet scene). These scenes needed to be toned down or removed altogether, and I hate the General Perez character on an almost irrational level (why didn't anyone involved in making this movie realize that a character who keeps crossing his eyes has no place in an Alien movie?) But some scenes are good and could almost have been "great" in a better movie, such as the clones scene and the swimming scene. I liked Ron Perlman's character, the alien effects are superb, and Sigourney Weaver was good as always, but Winona Ryder's acting wasn't very convincing at all. The gore factor is also much higher than the previous films, though it still seems cartoonish when you think about it in comparison to Kane's death from the first movie. Rating: 2.5/5 Saturday Night Live: The Best of Gilda Radner (DVD) Maybe I've just seen these sketches too many times or maybe I'm just older and less susceptible to them, but for some reason I found Gilda Radner a lot funnier when I was a kid. That's not to say there aren't laughs to be had here (Emily Litella, Roseanne Rosannadanna), but some of the sketches are more mysterious than funny (Candy Slice, Lisa Loopner prom sketch), and I laughed the hardest at one that didn't go the way it was planned (where Candice Bergen flubs a line and starts laughing at her mistake). I really could only recommend this to someone who is already a Gilda Radner and/or early SNL fan. With that said, most of what is here is at least okay, if not good, but the misinclusion of the Lisa Loopner sketch where they're laughing at Dan Aykroyd's pants falling down as he plays a refrigerator repairman is inexcusable. Rating: 2.5/5 Saturday Night Live: The Best of John Belushi (DVD) Ya know, when I would watch SNL years ago, all I kept hearing was how it used to be funny in the early years, but it sucks now. When I finally was able to see some reruns of earlier episodes, it seemed to me that the ratio of funny to unfunny sketches was just about the same... and this DVD might be the living proof of that. It starts out strong, but the second half tapers off and I noticed even the audience wasn't laughing too much at some of the sketches, like that Superhero sketch (which seemed to be more about Bill Murray as Superman than John Belushi, anyway), and that "Samurai Night Fever" sketch. If they wanted two Samurai sketches, I would have much preffered Samurai Tailor for the second one. The first half is good (especially the Cheeseburger, Blues Brothers, and Beethoven sketches), but once again, I can't really recommend it to anyone who isn't already a John Belushi fan. Rating 2.5/5 BACK TO THE REVIEW INDEX

April 2010 Demon's Crest (SNES) When I played this game years ago, I kept getting up to a boss I couldn't beat and giving up, which made the game seem like it was impossible to make any progress in. When I tried it again recently, I discovered it was a lot easier than I thought it was. The problem is that once you find a boss you can beat, and enough powerups, you can blow through most of the game very quickly. Once it was all over, it didn't feel much like I'd beaten a game at all. The funny thing is that I never got the worst ending by getting to the final boss as soon as it is possible to do so, which seems to happen to almost every other person who has ever played this game, except those of us who had the "falling down the tornado" trick spoiled in Nintendo Power magazine. By getting everything there is to find, you can fight a secret boss that has nothing to do with the rest of the game, but it isn't very hard and it's more a battle of attrition than anything. The graphics are really pretty to look at and the music is nice (I might concede that the soundtrack is better than I thought it was, although it does work best in the game itself), and it does have a few challenging parts and some mild exploration fun, but it needed to be a lot more than what it is. Rating: 2.5/5 Mortal Kombat (DVD) Yes, this is one of the better video game to movie adaptations, but that says more about how bad video game movies are than it does about how good this movie is. The funny thing is that up until the tournament begins, it at least tries to follow a plot, even if it is corny and cheesey. But once the fighting starts, the rules range from unclear, to non-existent, to made up as it goes along. The movie is colorful, looks appropriately like the game's art style, there's a lot of fun action scenes, and it was casted well, but it feels like they tried to fit in too many characters, leaving some (like Scorpion and Sub-Zero) with little or no personality, and others underdeveloped (Johnny Cage becomes a non-entity after the fight with Goro, and Kano's presence almost feels pointless). I also felt cheated by the ending. I know it's setting up for a sequel, but if the whole point is for the mortals to win the tournament so the Emperor can't invade, and he does anyway, it kind of makes all that "destiny" mumbo-jumbo look pointless. I still dig the soundtrack, though. Rating: 2.5/5 BACK TO THE REVIEW INDEX

May 2010 Arrested Development, Season 1 (DVD) If you've heard anything about Arrested Development, chances are you've not only heard how funny it is, but also phrases like clever, witty, quirky, offbeat, ahead of its time, refreshing, etc. Let me say that all of it is true, as this is simply one of the best comedy series to ever grace American TV airwaves. It's about a wealthy and very highly-dysfunctional family (arguably pushing the envelope even farther than shows like The Simpsons and Married... With Children did) that somewhat-parodies the George W. Bush administration and the War in Iraq, yet stands completely on its own as well. Jason Bateman is perfect as the straight man Michael Bluth in this comedy of errors, as he must (often futilely) contend with his narcissisitic mother and siblings, as well as his father's criminal activities that have caused the downfall of their family-owned housing development business. The writing is so impressive and so airtight, that even if you don't actually laugh at the outcomes of every episode, you can still be impressed with how well everything comes together. There are so many double entendres, plays on words, and foreshadowing that you may have to watch everything twice to catch it all. If there is any complaint I could have for Season 1 it's that the series hasn't quite hit its stride yet. If you've heard about some of the zanier things that happen in the later series (like Tobias turning blue or dressing as Mrs. Featherbottom), you won't find them here. But that doesn't mean the series wasn't off to a great start. (GOB trying to throw the envelope into the ocean was one of the funniest things I've ever seen.) Rating: 4.5/5 The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time (N64) "It's just A Link to the Past in 3D!" That's the way I've most often heard this game described in a nutshell, and while that is kind of true, at least it's an extremely well done "A Link to the Past in 3D". The dungeon designs are excellent, the puzzles are confounding as ever, and the boss fights are fun (even though most of them are rather easy). The graphics and music are top-notch, and the control is really good. There is so much to see, discover, and do in this game that I wrote a whole FAQ on how to find everything. This is also the first Zelda game I know of to have a completely optional dungeon, which was nice. The only problem is that the game's difficulty peaks around the Water Temple (a little more than halfway through), and the rest of the game feels either rushed or running low on ideas. I've seen complaints that the game is too short (!!), but I personally feel it's better that it ended before it started to drag on too long. Yes, Hyrule Field could have been a bit less large and empty, but I don't honestly feel it hurts the game as much as some critics do (things like Epona and the Warps make it easier to get around). The Forest Temple, Fire Temple, and Water Temple are three of my all-time favorite Zelda series dungeons. One of the greatest things this game has going for it is its atmosphere. Weirdness is no stranger to the Zelda series, but Ocarina of Time certainly cranked it up a notch with bizarre enemies like the ReDeads and Dead Hand minibosses, the quirky Hyrule inhabitants, and disturbing settings like the Shadow Temple and Bottom of the Well. Though Zelda in 3D won't be everyone's cup of tea, I still feel confident in giving it a strong recommendation. Rating: 4/5 BACK TO THE REVIEW INDEX

June 2010 Air Buster (Genesis) I only beat this on Easy and Normal, but I'm writing a capsule because I'm not sure how much more I'm willing to play it on the Hard mode. Air Buster is a typical Genesis space shooter that's similar to Thunder Force and feels rather lackluster in many regards. While it doesn't start off too badly, you'll soon discover that when you die, you lose all of your powerups (fair enough), but then your regular gun is too weak to kill most enemies within a reasonable number of hits (not fair!). It's so weak, it's hard to even destroy the powerup capsules before they leave the screen, so you're pretty much screwed. The reason I stopped playing the Hard mode was because I got to a boss that I ended up fighting for over 5 minutes, due to how weak my weapon was. As if that wasn't enough, someone thought it would be a cute idea in Levels 4 and 5 to represent zero gravity by having your spaceship's controls become more "floaty". In other words, pressing a direction on the control pad causes the ship to move in that direction until it hits the edge of the screen, hits an enemy, or you press another direction. You can compensate somewhat by constantly holding left, but it's still awkward as hell. Some of the level designs, graphics, and music are okay, but it feels like even the best efforts in these areas were only half-hearted. And what is with those bizarre loading delays between stages? We're shown a picture of five anime-style characters, but nowhere is it explained who they are. I'm suspicious this game was designed for a CD-based system, which was meant to have cinema scenes featuring these characters, but the game ended up on a cartridge system and they omitted the cutscenes, but sloppily left the loading screens in. Rating: 2/5 Arrested Development, Season 2 (DVD) This is the season where things really pick up on this show. The episode "Good Grief" (which parodies the Peanuts cartoons), is one of my all-time favorites, including great lines of dialogue such as: Michael Bluth: I think George-Michael is hiding Ann in the attic. Lindsay Bluth Fünke: From who, the Nazis? Michael Bluth: It’s as Ann as the nose on Plain’s face. George Michael Bluth: I have Pop Pop in the attic. Michael Bluth: The mere fact that you call making love "Pop Pop" tells me that you're not ready. "Sad Sack" and "Afternoon Delight" are awesome episodes, too, and so are many others, but if I talked about every one, this would end up being a full review instead of a capsule. I almost feel like it's not a bad idea to recommend watching some Season 2 episodes to someone who may have seen Season 1 and wasn't too impressed by it. There's a lot more of GOB's hapless and hilarious attempts at being a professional magician, Tobias's further descent into his closeted realm of homosexuality, and Buster loses his hand to a seal. What more could you possibly want? Rating: 5/5 Crash Bandicoot (PS1) I decided to play this game because I wanted to see how one of the Playstation's flagship 3D platformers compared to the N64 platformers I've finished (Super Mario 64, Banjo-Kazooie, and Donkey Kong 64). I was quite shocked to find out that Crash Bandicoot is completely on rails and even has sidescrolling stages, and really isn't all that comparable to them. But don't get me wrong, it was a rather pleasant surprise, as the game often felt to me like a merger of the best aspects of platform action games with 3D environments. The graphics are absolutely gorgeous and the level designs contain some of the toughest platform jumping and enemy-dodging I've seen. The game owes a lot to the Donkey Kong Country series, right down to the island settings and the similar style of action, but that's not a bad thing. If there's any dark cloud beneath all this silver lining it's that the boss fights are rather lame and feel like they were just placed here and there out of some arbitrary commitment. All of them are piss-easy, including the final boss, but I'm not going to complain about that too much because Crash has a lot more going for it in the stage designs than a lot of other games do. (I also may not have minded if the control had been fine-tuned a bit, too, but it's adequate.) Rating: 4/5 Heavy Barrel (Arcade) Crawl and I credit-fed through this game at a local arcade place. I don't honestly remember a whole lot about it now, except that the game was glitching out a lot (with the text all being unreadable) and there was some kind of special weapon that basically acted like a mace that was really useful. I think we assembled the Heavy Barrel once or twice, too. The game is a rather monotonous Ikari Warriors clone (even down to the twisty controls), but there's nothing as weird as the corpse boss in that game and I don't really fancy the idea of playing through it ever again. I honestly had more fun winning prizes out of the claw machines. Rating: 2/5 Kid Icarus (NES) I replayed this game for the first time in years and also (for the first time ever) beat the Japanese version, too. Both my shrine and my original review were written back when I didn't write very well, and thus I feel that neither really explained exactly what makes this game so much fun for me. It's all about the tension of being over top of a bottomless pit for much of it. The stages tend to be long and meticulously designed, so one slip-up can spell disaster. There is something satisfying about finally making it to the end of a stage without falling or succumbing to the enemy onslaught. The maze-like dungeon levels are also fun and challenging to navigate, thanks in part to those infamous Eggplant Wizards that can turn you into a functionless squash. Yes, the last level is a complete throwaway, but I don't really mind that too much since the game offers enough thrills beforehand (and a New Game + so you can try for better endings afterwards!) Note: I revised my complete review in July 2010, after writing this capsule. The original version was too terrible to leave as it was. Rating: 3.5/5 Knights of the Round (Arcade) Crawl and I also credit-fed through this game at a local arcade place. It's a typical beat-em-up with its major draws being the medieval setting and the ability to occasionally ride on horses. Otherwise, it's pretty dull and straight-forward. However, I did end up laughing hysterically at Arthur's really gay jumping animation, and the fact that Lanceleot looks nearly identical to Charlotte from Samurai Shodown, so that's gotta count for something. Methinks this game may have been made on the cheap since Perceval's sprite is very obviously a modified Mike Haggar sprite from Final Fight. There is so much happening on the screen most of the time that I often had a hard time following it, and I think it made me a little physically ill. By the time we were done, I felt very woozy and light on my feet. Rating: 1.5/5 Pac-Man Arrangement (Arcade) This was the best of the games Crawl and I credit-fed through at the arcade place, and it's one of six games on Namco Classics Vol 2. It's an updated version of Pac-Man that allows two players to play simultaneously, but there are a lot more changes than just that. There's a fifth ghost that appears every so often and bestows special powers on the other ghosts when he collides with them. For example, the purple ghost will turn into a bunny that can hop over the maze walls. The mazes change and the items change, and it can get pretty fast and intense in the later stages. Unlimited credits and having two players pretty much guarantees getting to the end (and it has a final boss fight!), but I can imagine this being a good challenging game if the credits were limited and if I only played it by myself (unfortunately, it doesn't work properly on MAME). As such, this rating is just kind of tentative, but I have to rate it something. Rating: 3/5 BACK TO THE REVIEW INDEX

July 2010 Arrested Development, Season 3 (DVD) Season 3 is short, but is a thrilling conclusion to this great, overlooked series. This set includes my all-time favorite episode, "Mr. F", which culminates in a scene that parodies Godzilla in which Tobias, dressed in a giant mole costume, battles a jetpack-clad George-Michael Bluth. If you only ever watch one episode of Arrested Development make it that one (and then you'll probably want to see more). This season also introduces the classic character, Bob Loblaw, whose name sounds like "Bob Blah-Blah", which leads to some really hilarious pronunciation jokes, such as "Bob Loblaw's Law Blog", which sounds like, "Bob Blah Blah Blah Blah". There are also great moments including a Banana Stand feud, Buster in a fake coma, a house full of Saddam Husseins, and a fantastic season finale. The only thing I wasn't too fond of was the whole "Dying Tobias" storyline, but even that had its moments and it was wrapped up pretty quickly. All in all, an awesome end to an awesome show, and it's amazing how much good stuff was crammed into the last few episodes. I wish the series could have gone on longer, but at least the story was resolved. (Here's hoping that rumored movie gets made sooner than later.) Rating: 5/5 Equinox (SNES) The fact that I devoted an entire shrine to this game should make it quite obvious that I feel really highly about it. I have a full review here, but it's old and probably sucks. If you love adventure, action, and puzzle games, it's hard to think of too many better choices to try than Equinox. Lots of dungeon rooms to solve, great graphics and music, decent boss fights, and an eerie atmosphere that's unlike anything else. There are only a few problems that drag it down a little: Some are annoying glitches, but my shrine details how to get around them. Another is the lack of shadows that makes the jumps a little tricky. The third is that by the last dungeon, the game seems to be running a little low on ideas as most puzzles are things you've seen before. But the final boss fight can be really tough, which helps make up for that. Just remember that great adventure games do not always have "Zelda" in their titles. Rating: 4/5 The Flintstones: The Rescue of Dino & Hoppy (NES) Decent enough sidescrolling platform game that's neither too easy nor terrible like most licensed NES games are. The only major flaw is that it's a little too short. I wrote a full review here. Rating: 3/5 Seinfeld, Season 8 (DVD) Sometimes, it's hard for me to tell if I like this show more than Arrested Development or not. They're similar in many ways, mostly in the way both shows tend to start off with a bunch of unrelated plot threads that somehow all get woven together by the end of the episode, which (as I said about AD) can impress you even if you don't outright laugh at it, and yet they're different in many ways, too. But Seinfeld's jokes are great, the comedy (at times) can get very physical, and the personalities of the show's hopeless cast of characters are always fun to watch. With that said, I only have a couple of reservations, the first being that sometimes this season leaps the boundaries of reality maybe a little too much. I don't have a problem with shows getting goofy and unrealistic for the sake of comedy, but I shouldn't be wondering how on earth a funeral is being held for a person who didn't exist. Or why Elaine doesn't just go to pick up her food at the Chinese restaurant instead of forming an elaborate scheme to make it look like she lives in the janitor's closet in the apartment across the street to have it delivered to her (okay, that last one does sound hilarious in print, I admit). Also, the George Steinbrenner stuff is just really, really hoaky, even for this show. I was actually glad when George Costanza was fired from that job at the end of this season because I was getting worn out on that whole scenario (although George making his office desk into a bed was pretty darn funny). Rating: 4.5/5 Silent Hill 2: Restless Dreams (Xbox) Sometimes I think I'm the only person on the planet who finds Survival Horror games hilarious. It's not as though the game doesn't try to be scary, but the ridiculous voice acting in some scenes and the even-more-ridiculous puzzles in certain situations (like an elevator saying you're too heavy to ride it if you have a photograph in your pocket) kind of break the mood. Not to mention that I keep hearing about how scary Pyramid Head is, but when the first major fight with him involves him trying to hit you with a gigantic sword that's so big and heavy he can barely walk with it, let alone swing it, I'm not exactly sure why I shouldn't laugh at that. But you know what the Number 1 worst problem with this game is? That obnoxious noise filter that makes the entire game look incredibly blurry, even when you're inside a building with the lights on! For a game like this, I can live with the fog. I can even live with the overall monochrome color schemes. But that bleepin' noise layer gave me eyestrain and made it so difficult to tell what I was looking at half the times, that I couldn't possibly be scared of anything. Thankfully, after you've beaten the game, you get an option in your menu to turn off the stupid-ass noise layer and suddenly everything looks a lot clearer. Now I could see why the settings might be creepy enough to scare someone, but I really wish I had that option to turn it off to begin with. As far as the gameplay goes, some of the puzzles are okay, but there is an awful lot of walking along hallways and checking doors (most of which are locked and can't be opened), so it gets a little repetitive. There's also this awful boat-rowing scene that I feel obligated to mention, but once you know the trick to it, you can get through it in less than a minute, so that should be reassuring to anyone planning to replay the game, as I have been doing for the multiple endings. Rating: 2.5/5 This is Spinal Tap (DVD) This rock "mockumentary" about a fictitious heavy metal band from England apparently hit so close to home for some real life rock stars that they couldn't figure out what was so funny about it. For the rest of us, the sheer absurdity of the rock lifestyle that's poked and prodded in this largely unscripted romp is what will keep you amused and laughing. Rob Reiner's tale begins with the band Spinal Tap, who has their roots in 60's Flower Child hippie rock, finding worldwide success in heavy metal. After that, they begin to lose popularity on a steep incline as things go from bad to worse from one concert to the next. The absolute funniest moment occurs when the dimensions of a drawing for a stage prop of Stonehenge are misinterpreted and it ends up being only 18" high. Somehow, this information is kept from the band members until they go to perform the Stonehenge song live on stage, and as Michael McKean's character David St. Hubbins puts it, "I think that the problem may have been, that there was a Stonehenge monument on the stage that was in danger of being crushed by a dwarf". Despite how (intentionally) ridiculous their song lyrics are, the performances are so top-notch that people were fooled into thinking that Spinal Tap was a real band. Other incidents, such as Nigel being upset over the size of his sandwich bread, amplifiers that "go to 11", and the band getting lost backstage are funny, but perfectly believable (as similar things have been known to happen in the real world.) Rating: 4/5 BACK TO THE REVIEW INDEX

August 2010 Jurassic Park (DVD) As you probably know, Jurassic Park was the first movie to truly create realistic looking and moving dinosaurs via a combination of utilizing full-scale models and miniatures, and computer graphics made possible by then-recent advances in technology. The effects are seamless and the prehistoric creatures that roam the screen are very believable in how they interact with the humans, each other, and their environments. But the real icing on the cake is that not only do the special effects hold up well after all these years, but so does the story. The characters are all interesting, likable, have unique personalities, and importance to the plot. It's got everything from humor (lawyer on the toilet, Ian Malcolm's dialogue), to suspense (T-Rex attacking the car), and a great soundtrack (by John Williams), too. The explanation for how the dinosaurs exist in the modern day certainly seems plausible enough, and the movie has a grandiose sense of adventure and atmosphere. The only reservation I have is that the action sequences get a little repetitive and silly towards the end (it's like they tried to have an Aliens-style double climax, right down to people running through air vents to escape pursuing creatures), and the final scene with the T-Rex is rather improbable, but hey, it's still an enjoyable ride that can really get your adrenaline going. No better dinosaur movie has ever been made. Rating: 4.5/5 Jurassic Park 3 (DVD) I hate to say this, but this is (IMO) the worst of the three Jurassic Park films. Okay, imagine this scenario: A guy goes to an island full of dinosaurs and becomes trapped there with no way to return to the mainland. Somehow he has to survive for several months on his own, with all of these fearsome prehistoric beasts surrounding him, until help arrives. How will he do it? Doesn't that sound like an interesting idea to you? That's the set up to JP3, but instead of worrying about that, it focuses on the annoying parents who form the kid's rescue team, strings along a few Obvious Dinosaur Fodder Characters, and shoehorns in Dr. Alan Grant because, hey, he was in the first movie! Finally, instead of a plot, it has an endless string of chase scenes. The dinosaur special effects are as good and convincing as ever, but the way Spinosaurus relentlessly pursues the humans everywhere on the island makes him seem rather cartoonish and less like a real animal. Oh, and what's an even worse kick to the groin than that gymnast scene in The Lost World (see below)? For reasons unexplained, Ellie Sattler married and had kids with someone else instead of Alan Grant, even though that goes entirely against the whole point of Dr. Grant learning to like the kids in the first movie. Anyone who knows me knows that I hate that sort of shit. Rating 2/5 The Lost World: Jurassic Park (DVD) The harder this movie tries to top the first Jurassic Park, the worse it gets. The beginning is not too bad, as there's a rather good sequence involving a close encounter with a family of Stegosauruses. But as soon as the party of hunters showed up on the island, I got the same sinking feeling that Alien3 gave me where I knew there'd be a bunch of action scenes in which these people are chased by dinosaurs and you don't care who gets killed because you don't really know any of them. That's exactly what happens, and the only hunter with any personality is Pete Postlethwaite's character, who just happened to be in Alien3. Ian Malcolm is also back from the first movie, but he feels out of place as the main character and most of his dialogue only serves to foreshadow the obvious. Then there's that embarrassing gymnastics scene in which a character (who was very briefly mentioned as being a gymnast in one sentence early in the movie) kicks a raptor after swinging around on a bar. You might think that would serve as the symbolic kick to the groin of the first JP movie, but it's one-upped by a travesty of a third act in which a T-Rex is brought to San Diego and thoroughly rampages through it. It's an homage to Godzilla and comes complete with a crowd of Japanese people running away. The first movie had some comedy, but it wasn't a farce. Rating: 2.5/5 Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (Theater) A long time ago, I said in my review of Zoda's Revenge that it "seems to take place in a bizarre alternate universe in which things normally found only in video games exist in the real world." Scott Pilgrim vs. the World feels like someone read that review and said, "Why don't we make a movie that does the same thing?" Movies based on video games are notoriously bad, and so are games based on movies, but it's like someone finally figured out how to get the peanut butter into the chocolate and make something worth eating. I've seen the movie accused of "pandering" with its various game references, but part of me believes it's because most of the nods are to oldschool games and the people complaining are the same types who demand to know why "X Game" isn't on my "Top X List". You don't have to know the significance of things like a band called "The Clash at Demonhead", or twins who fight with "Double Dragons", or musicians wanting to play at "The Chaos Theatre" to enjoy the movie, they're just bonuses for those who will get them. The real highlights are the exceptional visual style and outrageous action sequences. (Whether you're oldschool or newschool, fighting games, which the movie uses for its main motif, are universal.) Now with all that said, the movie isn't perfect. I felt it was a little too long, and the downside to having references is that I started intentionally looking for them in every scene which caused me to get distracted on several occasions. I still liked it enough to be disappointed when I heard it flopped, so hopefully it'll find new life in the DVD market as a cult classic. Rating: 3.5/5 The Simpsons, Season 8 (DVD) I felt like my Simpsons knowledge was severely lacking, having only seen episodes from the first three seasons and the most recent seasons. So, I started with Season 8 because it was the only DVD set that was immediately accessible to me. While there is some debate as to when exactly the quality of the show started tapering off, I'd say that this was generally a strong season with only a few bad spots. Some of my favorite moments include: Mr. Burns saying he didn't like the outdoors because there are "too many fat kids" in "Bart After Dark". Homer blowing the bubblegum in the doctor's face in "Hurricane Neddy". Mr. Burns as an alien in "The Springfield Files". Homer as the voice of Poochie in "The Itchy & Scratchy & Poochie Show". "Brother From Another Series" actually making me feel sorry for Sideshow Bob. The Mr. Sparkle subplot in "In Marge We Trust". Frank Grimes's descent into insanity in "Homer's Enemy". And now, the low points: With the exception of one Chief Wiggum joke involving a wheelbarrow, "My Sister My Sitter" was a very painful episode. I didn't care for "The Old Man and the Lisa". (Funny, both of these are Lisa episodes and I've heard people say before that episodes that focus on her have a greater tendency to suck.) And yeah, I finally saw the "Poochie Episode" after all these years. Overall, I probably enjoyed my time with Arrested Development and Seinfeld, Season 8 more, but if earlier seasons of The Simpsons are even better than this, then I have a lot to look forward to. Rating: 4/5 BACK TO THE REVIEW INDEX

September 2010 Austin Powers in Goldmember (DVD) I might be lowering my standards in giving this movie my recommendation, but you know what? I've seen it almost 3 times, and I still laughed at quite a few parts, especially towards the end when Austin and Mini-Me team up together. It has a lot of memorable lines ("I'm from Holland, isn't that weird?"), and I dare say it's my favorite of the three Austin Powers movies. True that it has more bathroom and male body part humor than I normally care for, but there's enough else going on to keep my mind off of it. Michael Caine as Austin's father couldn't be more perfect and he has some of the funniest lines in the film. There are some great musical numbers, too, including a remix of "That's the Way" and "Shake Your Booty" with new lyrics performed by Beyonce Knowles. Unfortunately, the movie doesn't really have enough for her character to do after her big introduction scene, and that's actually part of a bigger problem: there are so many characters in this series now (including old standbys like Number 2, Frau Farbissina, and Scott Evil, and new ones like Goldmember) that there isn't a lot of time devoted to all of them. But even so, the movie does have its funny parts and a great visual style, too. So, yeah (baby, yeah). Rating: 3.5/5 Avatar (Theater) Avatar is a movie that really racks my brain. If I were to recommend seeing it, it would mostly be for the 3D effects and the gorgeous, lush alien environments, which are fantastic almost beyond words. However, for as groundbreaking as it is in the visual department, I just wish that the story wasn't something I feel like I've seen so many times before (Dances With Wolves and The Last Samurai come to mind). If it means anything, Avatar does this plot very well and with prettier visuals than any other version of the tale you're likely to see, but the feelings of deja vu I felt were undeniable (I knew from the moment the movie began that there would be an "I trusted you!!" scene and sure enough, it hits that mark on the nose). As I expected, it's another "nature vs. technology" yarn that doesn't offer realistic alternatives. Sigourney Weaver is great as always, though. One thing I should mention is that I saw the Special Edition, and from discussing this on message boards, it sounds like some scenes had been cut from the original version that caused the story to make less sense. So if you want to see it, I say skip the DVD for now and see the Special Edition in theaters, if possible. Rating: 3.5/5 Big Fish (DVD) I originally saw this movie in theaters years ago, and I'm afraid I've become a much more cynical person since then. The first time around, I was mesmerized by the fantasy/adventure portions of the film. On this viewing, I found it much too easy to side with Edward Bloom's son - the one character who thinks differently from everyone else, and has to be proven "wrong" by the ending. And does the ending make any sense? If all those things really happened, then why did none of those people turn up in Edward Bloom's life again until his funeral? If Spectre and Calloway's Circus were real, why did he never take his son to see them? Edward's whole attitude comes across to me as, "I was never there for my son, and I don't believe he deserves to know the truth about anything, but I was a GREAT person to everyone else I met in my life, so that completely makes everything okay", and the movie glorifies that! I still think the adventure scenes work to a point, but they definitely need a framework to support them, and I don't like the one they've been put into. Even ignoring my complaints about the morality, it's just no fun watching Albert Finney slowly die and I could feel my subconscious screaming, "Just get to the damn flashbacks already!" Rating: 2.5/5 Dragonslayer (DVD) Dragonslayer is basically Shirley Jackson's The Lottery with a dragon thrown in. It's okay to a point, but there are some problems that keep it from being as awesome as a movie about dragonslaying should be, not least of which is the ridiculous ending, which would go on my list of "Top Movie WTF Moments" if I ever made one. It's also unfortunate that some of the special effects look dated. The dragon looks best when they use the full-scale model, but the go-motion used to make it walk and fly around, and the green "outlines" around the actors when they're superimposed into scenes with it, stand out like a blue tomato. The swordfighting scenes seem to lack energy, although there is a shocking amount of gore (especially for a Disney film), including a scene where a recently-deceased corpse's feet are chewed off. On a side note, you can tell whoever made this movie didn't think very highly of Christianity. First a priest (played by Ian McDiarmid before he was Emperor Palpatine) is killed when he boldly confronts the dragon thinking it's Satan, and then another priest credits the dragon's defeat to God instead of to the "pagan" wizard who lost his life fighting it. Overall, not bad if you want to watch a medieval fantasy movie with a killer dragon, but it could have been so much more. Rating: 2.5/5 Goodfellas (DVD) Goodfellas is one of the few movies that's almost 2-1/2 hours long and deserves every minute it's up on the screen. It's an entrancing, unfolding tale of Henry Hill's life in the mafia. As Henry moves up through the ranks of organized crime, his boundaries dissolve and the audience is invited to experience the high life of the mob in all its splendor and glory. But almost as soon as he hits the top, his life begins to slowly crumble and fall apart as the darker side of mafia lifestyle reveals itself, some of which is brought on by loose cannon Tommy (played by Joe Pesci in an Academy Award-winning performance) who kills a "made man" during a heated argument. Eventually Henry hits rock bottom after his drug smuggling business is busted by the feds, and his only other friend in the organization at this point is whacking people left and right, with him possibly being next. The downward spiral he experiences is more terrifying than some horror movies I've seen. Every step of the way of Henry's journey, he's letting us in on this secret underground world, so real because much of the movie is based on actual events, and the astounding camera work puts us right in where the action is. Truly one of the last great American dramas ever made. Rating: 5/5 HyperZone (SNES) I played through the American, European, and Japanese versions of HyperZone, and beat the American version without dying for the first time ever. Unfortunately, there isn't a whole lot to this early SNES rail shooter. It lacks depth and challenge, and the final stage is just a boss rehash. And yet, I have to confess I have a soft spot for it. It was an experiment in 3D technology that didn't get fully-realized, and what we ended up with was a Super NES Mode 7 graphics and sound chip demo. But as far as that goes, it's at least a very fantastically-sounding and colorful little tech demo. If Hal released it today, they could call it "art" and everyone would fawn over it. Though it's not a "must-play" game, if you're at all interested, it wouldn't hurt to give it a whirl on an emulator sometime, or even on an actual SNES console if you manage to find a working cartridge for cheap. Rating: 2.5/5 BACK TO THE REVIEW INDEX

October 2010 Dragon Ball: The Saga of Goku (DVD) I felt an obligation to watch this show sometime in my life because of the huge influence its art style had on NES games. This is the original Dragon Ball series where Goku is a little kid and it explains his origins - how he met characters like Bulma, Oolong the shape-changing pig, and Yamcha, and went on a quest to find the seven Dragon Balls to have a wish granted. It's a lot more focused on story and humor than the mostly action-oriented, and more popular "Z" series. In fact, Goku more often finds other ways of winning the day without fighting. While the show is a bit juvenile and has some bathroom humor I could have lived without, it can be surprisingly funny at times. It also has the novelty of there being nothing else like it. The animation is a bit subpar, although the backgrounds are pretty and the artwork itself isn't bad. The story follows an arc from episode to episode, and the nice thing about it is that although it was left open for continuation, it's basically complete. Unlike some American cartoons that attempt this sort of thing and never come full circle (like The Pirates of Dark Water, where they never got close to finding all the treasures). It also has some really memorable moments. I can imagine Goku's transformation near the end being a major "Holy Crap!" moment for kids watching it when it first aired. And what actually gets wished for from the Eternal Dragon is one of the funniest things I've seen all year. Rating: 3.5/5 Resident Evil 4 (Gamecube) I plan to write a full review of this game later, so I'm only going to say a few things about it right now. First of all, no it's not quite the #2 greatest game of all time like Nintendo Power magazine said it was (but I wasn't really expecting it to be). It has its share of ups and downs. It has more of an action slant than most Survival Horror games, but you still don't want to jump in with all guns blazing because on my first attempt I reached a boss I couldn't beat because I was far too low on ammo and health refills, so I had to start over. The good news is that the game is difficult and has a good variety of challenges and boss fights. It also makes excellent use of its "3D space", meaning there is mild exploration that usually results in finding some useful stuff. No endless wandering down streets and hallways like in Silent Hill 2. However, I'm not particularly fond of the "quick time events", and I was actually quite shocked to see this game had them as I thought part of the reason FMV games died out is because no one liked them. I appreciate the attempt at making cutscenes more "interactive", but this also has the negative effect of forcing you to sit through cutscenes multiple times if you mess up, and not be able to skip those scenes on a replay. Still, it's a solid challenge, and it's nice to play a Survival Horror game without those "tank" controls so common to the genre. The game's atmosphere starts out creepy and mysterious, but the more the mystery unravels, the less scary it gets, especially when a dwarf character in a Napoleon getup is introduced. It should be noted that I've only beaten it on the Normal setting. I felt the Hard mode is what made Resident Evil 0 go from being average to excellent, so I'll write a full review after I finish Hard. Rating: 3.5/5 (tentative) Short Circuit (DVD) Short Circuit is a very strange movie. Its tone completely changes about halfway through. At first, it seems like it might be taking itself at least somewhat seriously, with the idea of "what defines life?" being proposed by a talking robot that seems to have come to life. However, considering that this robot is armed to the teeth with highly-destructive lasers, I couldn't help but find Steve Guttenberg's suggestion to just let it roam around ridiculous, and the "evil" army's stance that it should be stopped sympathetic. However, the more "intelligent" the robot (Johnny 5) gets, the more slapstick the movie becomes. By the midpoint, the army is so bungling and incompetent, they can't be taken seriously anymore. With the first half being so low on humor, the second half's humor almost seems out-of-place. Take, for example, a scene where Johnny 5's woman friend's abusive boyfriend shows up at her house with a shotgun. The farcical way in which the robot resolves this situation is almost alarming. Roger Ebert gave Short Circuit 1.5 stars, but I don't think it's that bad. It's watchable, has some funny lines of dialogue, and Johnny 5 is cute and entertaining, but it's left me wondering if Short Circuit's popularity has more to do with the second movie because everyone seems to score that one higher and, get this, if I image search "Short Circuit" on the internet, most of the pictures that come up are from the second film. Rating: 2.5/5 BACK TO THE REVIEW INDEX

November 2010 The Adventures of Super Mario Bros. 3 (DVD) While I had seen some of these shows years ago, I had extremely little memory of them now. I have to wonder what the hell I was thinking when I watched them back then. This is one of the most screwed-up cartoons I've ever seen. The writers made no attempt at all to make the elements of the game make sense in the narrative. For example, in the very first episode, King Koopa wants to turn a mushroom prince into a poodle, and while anyone who's played the games will know this is based on the kings getting turned into animals, everyone else will be thinking, "What the hell type of a crazy villain plot is that??" Then characters immediately start talking about getting "supercharged" with "Super Leaves"... no explanation to the uninformed as to what that means. But it gets better. This is a show that has a caricature of Barbara Bush yelling, "Help! The President can't swim!", characters getting turned into babies with adult faces complete with mustache, Luigi seducing and kissing Wendy O. Koopa (who was established as being only 16 years old), Mario demonstrating racism against mummies and fishpeople (while preaching in a later episode that "it doesn't matter what a person looks like, only what they're like inside"), a Wizard inventing the world's most powerful magic wand just so he can roast hot dogs with it, a kid getting hit square in the face with flying lava and Luigi just nonchalantly brushing it off, a brief shot of Luigi's bare ass, Luigi throwing Mario's vinyl record into a fireplace in a ridiculous attempt to shoehorn in a moral, magic wands that have the power to bestow life onto inanimate objects, and a song that sounds like it's saying, "You have to piss off without getting burned", and most of that occurs even before the goddamn Milli Vanilli episode! I can't recommend this show in good conscience, and the total chaos and nonsense started grating on me by the last few episodes, but if you want to watch it just to see how screwed-up it is, I'm not stopping you. Rating: 2.5/5 Seinfeld, Season 6 (DVD) I may have thought Season 8 was a little funnier overall than this season, but at least there's less of that awkward George Steinbrenner stuff. Highlights from this season: "The Chinese Woman", which I'd seen before, where Jerry dates a girl who he thinks is Chinese, but turns out not to be, yet acts like she is. "The Pledge Drive", which I think should more properly be called "The Snickers Bar" since it's the one where Elaine's boss eats a Snickers bar with a knife and fork, causing a chain reaction wherein everyone around town starts eating their desserts with a knife and fork. "The Gymast" - It's funny how karma works in the Seinfeld universe. Every little action and thing they say can have repercussions on what happens later. Seinfeld's girlfriend in this episode is Romanian, so he has no idea what to talk to her about, and the only thing he can think of is a Romanian dictator. You might think that's just a throwaway joke, but then at the end of the episode, Elaine's boss turns into Hitler. "The Switch", where Kramer's first name is revealed. "The Jimmy", which has my personal favorite moment in all of Season 6: Mel Torme singing to Kramer, who has been mistaken for a mentally-challenged man, as Kramer makes goofy faces from having been punched in the jaw moments earlier. An hilarious Tanya Harding/Nancy Kerrigan parody in the last episode. Also, it seems like "The Big Salad" episode is regarded by some fans as being one of the worst, but I thought it had some strong laughs, including this hilarious line. I also now have a new favorite quote from this show: George: Do you ever get down on your knees and thank God you know me and have access to my dementia? Rating: 4/5 Transformers Season 2, Part 1 (DVD) If you've read enough sections of this website, you probably know that the Generation 1 Transformers cartoon is one of my all-time favorites, and that I believe Season 2 is generally the best of everything. However, one thing that rather bugs me about Season 2 is that all the best episodes are in the middle, meaning that the second half of Part 1 and the first half of Part 2 are where all the best episodes lie. What happens is that Season 2 gets off to a slow start and even begins with the single worst episode in the entire pre-Rodimus Prime era, "Autobot Spike". Season 1 generally leaned more towards being serious and dramatic, and "Autobot Spike" is like a boiling point in which that DRAMA!! foamed way over the top. After that, there's a gradual change in the series' tone from drama to comedy, and you know me - I like comedy. But it's not all slapstick and jokes. The highlight episode of this season is "The Master Builder", which might very well be my favorite episode of Transformers of all time. It's well-written, has a meaningful subtext, a lot of confidence in the writing, great artwork, a fantastic battle at the end, and lovable new characters, Grapple and Hoist, and man do I love that ending music. Other notable episodes include "Dinobot Island Part 2" (part 1 is terrible but part 2 is awesome), "Auto-Berserk" (where Red Alert takes an hilarious nosedive into insanity), "Desertion of the Dinobots" (along with having classic and funny TF moments, it also gives a history of Cybertron for the first time) and "A Decepticon Raider in King Arthur's Court" (notable, amongst other things, for being the first episode without Optimus Prime). Overall, it's a good start to a great season with only a few duds here and there. Any self-respecting 80's cartoon fan needs to have this show on their "Seen It" list. Rating: 4/5 BACK TO THE REVIEW INDEX

December 2010 Fargo (DVD) Uh, well, this movie wins the award for "Most Overrated Movie I Saw in 2010". I wonder if all the people responsible for it having a 94% rating at rottentomatoes would still think it holds up if they went back and watched it now. I mean, nobody in this movie has any brains, and I had no idea who to root for. First of all, the two bungling crooks kill a state trooper in a really implausible manner, and then the "mute" crook makes a big deal about Steve Buscemi having to move the body out of the road. WHY?? Did he think that would make it less likely to be found? Of course, what happens is that instead of burning rubber and getting the hell out of there, they take so long trying to move the body that somebody drives by and sees them. And in all the calamity, they don't even bother to steal the trooper's journal so that no one else can get a description of their vehicle! Now I can see where Marge may be somewhat likable, but a lot of her scenes have nothing to do with the plot. You think her investigation is leading up to something, but the only reason she finds the crooks is because she coincidentally drives past their car! Should I even mention the creepy car salesman, his son's sobbing in a fit of poor acting, his annoying kidnapped wife, or the fact that Steve Buscemi so badly wanted to keep a car that all the police are on the lookout for. And for heaven's sake, if half the conversations in a movie take place on the phone, subtitle it, please! The good points: Buscemi's acting was good as always. It was short. Ummm...? Rating: 2/5 Kill Bill, Vol. 1 (DVD) The first half of Quenton Tarantino's revenge movie masterpiece is one of the best, if not the best, martial arts films I've ever seen. When you consider how many modern movies use camera techniques and action that's moving so fast it's hard to tell what's going on, it's amazing that Kill Bill contains a scene that's fought in silhouette and it's still easy to follow it. The story is simple enough, but the characters have layers of complexity that are revealed in each of the movie's "chapters", most of which culminate in an elaborate, action-laden swordfighting sequence. The Bride, a former member of an assassination squad, now wants revenge against her old employer, Bill, and his four subordinates for an incident in which they massacred her would-be husband, his friends and family, and her unborn child, and left the Bride herself for dead. The Bride will stop at nothing and travel all over the world to take out her targets, one-by-one, before reaching Bill, but the bulk of this volume deals with the fight against O-Ren Ishii - a spectacular battle in a Japanese restaurant against dozens of swordsmen. There's even a very well-done animated portion in the style of Japanese anime. Rating: 4/5 Kill Bill, Vol. 2 (DVD) Unfortunately, the Kill Bill finale is a bit of a letdown. The first 3/4 of Volume 2 is actually very, very good. It's right on par with the first volume, and I love all the scenes involving Pai Mei, the Bride's cruel martial arts instructor, and the scenes with Bud, including one in which the Bride is almost buried alive(!). The fight with Elle Driver is awesome, too, although it has an incredibly gorey climax. But the movie slows down to a crawl at the exact moment that the Bride goes to see a pimp character, and quite frankly, until I saw this movie subtitled I never understood a single word he said. Even worse is that the pace fails to pick up again after this scene. The confrontation with Bill at the end is extraordinarily drawn out, and then the fight with him is over before it even got started - very anticlimactic when you consider how long you've been waiting for it. Finally, this bothered me the very first time I saw this movie in theaters and time has not mellowed my feelings on it: Bill was a bad person, okay, but it seemed like he was a loving father to B.B. B.B. has never met the Bride before. She does not know her. So, the Bride shows up, kills Bill, the man she knew for four years as her loving father, and takes B.B. away... and B.B. is totally okay with this? Rating: 3.5/5 The Matrix (DVD) The first time I saw this movie, I thought it was okay, but I fear it doesn't hold up as well on a rewatch. Much of the beginning, and even the middle, of the film is exposition. If you've seen it before, then you already know all this stuff and are just kind of waiting for it to get to the action scenes, which are (admittedly) very well done when they do occur. Unfortunately, Neo has almost no personality and no set-up. We're told he's a great computer hacker, but we see no real evidence of that, and Keanu Reeves's acting isn't very great or convincing. I also found it far too easy to sympathize more with Cypher (the villain character) than Morpheus's crew. I think the movie is trying to make some kind of statement about how we are slaves to society and not really free - but then why make life inside the Matrix seem far more desirable than life onboard the Nebuchadnezzar? Rating: 2.5/5 Saw (DVD) Saw is an neat little horror flick with an interesting, if somewhat implausible, premise. A psycopath called "Jigsaw" kidnaps people whom he views as being "sinners" of sorts and "punishes" them by ensaring them in elaborate traps with only one chance to escape, or else suffer a grisly fate. Two men wake up in a dingy old abandoned bathroom and find themselves the latest unwilling participants in Jigsaw's sadistic games. They are chained to the walls and the only way out is to "win" by doing something incredibly unspeakable. The level of suspense is pretty high, and along with the bathroom situation, we're also shown some of Jigsaw's past victims and the "clever" ordeals that they had to go through. A neat, if dusky, visual style (I'm sure this movie is what inspired the apartment complex in Silent Hill 2), and many little surprise twists and turns... which keeps you riveted, but also serves as one of the film's slight undoings. *MAJOR SPOILER* Highlight to read: If Zep wasn't Jigsaw or at least in cohoots with Jigsaw, then why was he acting so psychotic? Incidentally, this is third movie I've seen this year that has a scene where a guy wakes up in a tub of water and has no idea what's going on. Rating: 3.5/5 Star Trek: The Motion Picture (DVD) And here's my award for "Most Underrated Movie I Saw in 2010". Star Trek: TMP gets a lot of flak for being too slow-paced, and that's not to say it isn't slow-paced: It is. But if you go into it knowing that and prepared for it, it's actually not as bad as you might expect. Most of the slow scenes involve a long shot of the camera panning across some scenery, such as the Enterprise when it's introduced, or the alien landscape inside the "space cloud" that is the movie's main antagonistic force. The superbness of the visuals and special effects make these scenes well worth it. Along with all its sci-fi settings and geeky technobabble, there's a very "human" plot at the movie's core. The humor is more subtle than in some of the other movies (most of it being relegated to Bones's dialogue), but hey, if you want goofy Star Trek movies, you have the other 5. It's nice to have at least one movie that takes the source material a little more seriously, and does it in a way that's not disrespectful or makes it seem cheesier. Rating: 4/5 BACK TO THE REVIEW INDEX

2010 Year in Review Best Games That I Had Never Finished Before: 1. Lemmings & Oh No! More Lemmings - Playstation 2. Crash Bandicoot - Playstation 3. Resident Evil 4 - Gamecube You know it's kind of funny. I'm always seeing people say games don't need to be challenging to be good, but the three best games I played last year were all games that had significant and unique challenges. Most Overrated Game I Played This Year: Silent Hill 2: Restless Dreams - Xbox Thankfully, I didn't play anything truly awful this year. Silent Hill 2, yeah, not the greatest game ever, but I didn't end up hating it, either (except for the dual-Pyramid Head fight on Hard mode. That was just idiotic.) Best Movies I Saw This Year That I Hadn't Seen Before: 1. Star Trek: The Motion Picture 2. Scott Pilgrim vs. the World Most Overrated Movie I Saw This Year: Fargo Most Underrated Movie I Saw This Year: Star Trek: The Motion Picture Best TV Show I Hadn't Seen (Completely) Before: Arrested Development I had seen some episodes of this show before, but never the whole thing from the start of Season 1 to the end of Season 3, and there were some episodes that were completely new. Top 5 Movies Overall (Seen or Not Seen Before): 1. Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope 2. Aliens 3. Goodfellas 4. Alien 5. Jurassic Park Star Wars is always an easy choice, but Aliens comes pretty darn close. I think it's possible that by now, I've actually seen Aliens more times than Star Wars. Of course, I'm too much of a sci-fi geek to rank Goodfellas above them, as great as that movie is. The original Alien is also a classic, although it did take more than one viewing for me to really warm up to it, and Jurassic Park still holds up pretty well. Top 5 Video Games Overall (Finished or Not Finished Before): 1. The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time 2. Lemmings & Oh No! More Lemmings 3. Equinox 4. Crash Bandicoot 5. Resident Evil 4 I guess I'm too much of a Zelda geek to resist the charms of its first outing into the 3D world. Despite what I said above, I know it's not as challenging as some of those other games, especially Lemmings and Crash, but it has so much going for it that it's hard to imagine as many games standing the test of time as well in my book. Lemmings was a unique and challenging experience, with great music, and the addition of Oh No! More Lemmings on the same package is an added plus. Equinox still holds up pretty well after all these years. I could probably make a case for Crash Bandicoot being an even better game than Equinox, but I did think its boss fights were a little weak. Equinox definitely has it beat in that department. And finally, Resident Evil 4, which took me some time to warm up to, but is actually a really good game. Seems like the RE series might be one of the last bastions of challenge in the world of modern video games. BACK TO THE REVIEW INDEX